First and foremost, I’m not trying to piss off anyone who sells flying-compliant self-defense tools. Those are great; this article is for those who can’t afford those tools or are not knowledgeable about options at this moment. Understanding self-defense on a plane is crucial, and that will change when the reader finishes this article, as it pertains to online products that can be purchased.

Pre-Flight Check: Self-Defense on a Plane

Okay, so let’s set the tone. Let’s start by playing “Come Fly with Me” by Frank Sinatra or “I’m Leaving on a Jet Plane.” We will not be playing “Sweet Home Alabama. “I saw Con Air. Okay, so is the music set? Let’s dive into a topic that is bound to upset someone. However, I’m confident that this article will educate and empower far more than those who might take offense at me.

Not so long ago, in a galaxy far, far away… wait, oops, wrong intro. Let me start over; it wasn’t very long ago that an honest and genuine concern was, “What would I do if a plane got hijacked?”  I’m not implying that the threat of hijacking or any terrorism on our planes is less, not at all. I can’t say with a clear heart that it’s gotten better at all. 

The purpose of this article is to educate and inform my fellow travelers about realistic and practical options for deployment. A fancy way of saying take action in a situation where trouble; I’m not talking about a drunk “Karen” or douchebag Doug. If you’re reading this and have either of those names, please know that I apologize and mean no harm by it. It has started on your flight, and you are the closest person to take action.

Sharpen Those Skillsets

Yes, it would be great to have a Navy SEAL, Green Beret, or Army Ranger step up and address the problem. Shoot, it’s unlikely that an actual, real-life air marshal will be on the flight. However, if we’ve learned anything, “don’t  expect anyone to save you.”

Let’s get down to business.

If you are new to my articles, I take a practical K.I.S.S. (keep it simple, silly) approach to these subjects. This philosophy is at the core of my writing because understanding complex issues can often feel overwhelming. By simplifying the concepts, I aim to make them more accessible and relatable, encouraging readers to engage with the material without feeling intimidated.

The goal is to open your mind and shed some light on options that will keep you safe should violence enter your life. It’s important to acknowledge that violence can manifest in various forms—whether physical, emotional, or psychological—and it’s vital to prepare ourselves with knowledge and strategies that empower us.

In my articles, I will explore practical self-defense techniques, situational awareness tips, and non-violent conflict resolution strategies. I will discuss the importance of recognizing warning signs and how to assess our environment effectively. Additionally, I’ll provide insights into creating safety plans and relying on support networks, which can be crucial in times of crisis.

Ultimately, I aim to equip you with tools that not only enhance your safety but also foster resilience and confidence. Violence is a serious subject, but by breaking it down into practical steps, we can better navigate the complexities of safety and preparedness. Remember, the more informed we are, the better we can protect ourselves and those we care about. Together, we can approach this topic with clarity and courage, making informed choices that prioritize our well-being.

Blunt Objects

What’s a blunt object? For this article, let’s call a blunt object anything that will not break when you smash( aggressively persuade) a bad person( I don’t care about gender, because honestly violence and evil sure don’t) in any part of the face or head that immediately has said bad person rethinking the action they’ve taken and the person they have messed with.

One of the best is a Yeti 18-ounce Hotshot bottle; I suggest it because I don’t have massive, manly hands. 

This unassuming item will pass any security. It can be held with one hand or both hands. Some come with a small handle at the top, which should make you feel inclined to crush orbital bones and cheekbones well, and you get the idea. You don’t need specialized training from a ninja or special ops military badass. You take the said item and hit the head or face ( front, back, or side) until the bad person backs up, falls in great amounts of pain, or becomes unconscious.

Now, this is just a suggestion: You can use your laptop or cell phone. However, first, that’s an expensive blunt object, and because of that, I don’t think you will hit anywhere near as hard or violently because…well, let’s be honest, you won’t.

So, while I’m sure you can think of many other options, this is just one that is easily accessible and deployable. If it gets taken away because law enforcement needs it as evidence, you won’t lose a significant amount of cash.

Pointy Objects 

This one is so easy that I thought, why bother? A pen, yes, Mr. John Wick used a pencil; while both work just fine, a pen is straightforward. Now, I mean just a Bic pen, not a tactical one ( again, to my friends who sell these products, don’t get overly upset with me). Like the blunt object, you don’t need any special training. 

Authors Note: The mentality required to do what I’m about to suggest is life-altering. It would be irresponsible not to be completely transparent.

Okay, back to how to use a pen.

Step one: grab a pen in any fashion that feels comfortable as long as the pointy part is towards the lousy person.

Step two: Take the pointy part and insert it into the eye, ear, and mouth with as much force as you can. Yep, stab closet eye, puncture closet ear drum, ram pen in mouth, and make them gag and throw up.

The fact is that the grotesque violence will give you time for backup to happen (I wouldn’t hold your breath) and make the bad guy reassess what they have stepped into.

Fluid Options

Okay, now this one is the least effective. The bottom line is to take a preferably hot liquid and splash it into your eyes. I also recommend spitting in the eyes or mouth of the said bad person. (The spitting is a mental thing; gross, he just spit down my throat.) The goal of these is to create an opportunity to deploy one of the above items.

Examples include splashing the face and eyes, transitioning to pen strikes to the eyes, face, etc., or spitting in the face, followed by a transition to a blunt object smashing the face or head.

As I said, the fluid is great; however, to be super effective, it is best if it is steaming hot.

It’s Self-Defense…..On A Plane

In the last few weeks, air travel has received a great deal of negative press. Many planes are dealing with mechanical issues. Let’s not forget the plane from New York to India that had to be rerouted to somewhere in Europe. If things go sideways and you feel like you can be a positive asset, then a force multiplier like the ones above could and would help.

Again, there are fantastic products you can buy online (yes, I’m saying this so my friends will still talk to me), and my purpose is to suggest and bring to your attention some other options. These suggestions are things—let’s call them “objects of opportunity”  for your safety and security.

Note that I’m repeating myself; these suggestions include taking a martial art or self-defense system, such as jiu-jitsu, Krav Maga, or the SPEAR system. Let’s put the above tips in the “the fan has hit the feces” part of your toolbox. I’m working on my cussing. Thank you in advance for understanding.

There is no one perfect answer for every scenario. So, my job is to shed light on options, and you, the awesome reader, take what you like and build your skills through ongoing education, as these are perishable skills.

If you get only one thing from this article, it’s this; educate yourself as much as possible so the fear of not knowing what to do doesn’t cripple you if and when it’s time to start taking action. You learn and get empowered, so those lying fears nine have no place in your life.

Now go there and kick some ass and share this info with those you care about.